TWO MODEST VARIATIONS
Don Fredrick
Baby-boomers may recall the great Tom Lehrer, a songwriter for the satirical television program That Was The Week That Was that aired in the early 1960s. One of his most famous song parodies was The Vatican Rag, with music based on a 1910 song called Spaghetti Rag. Lehrer’s song can be heard here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujbpfTqlxQ0
With apologies to Mr. Lehrer, I present two new variations:
The Transsexual Rag
First you wake up from your bed,
Put that wig upon your head,
Stretch that bra across your chest then
Pick a dress! Pick a dress! Pick a dress!
Stroll into the women’s locker,
But don’t let them see your c**k or
You will cause real drama,
Everlasting trauma,
With the transsexual rag!
Tell them you’re not homosexual,
Certainly not heterosexual,
You’re just like them, very sensual
Even though you’ve not been menstrual.
If you deceive them, one and all,
Go ahead and pick a stall,
Two, four, six, eight,
Close the door and masturbate.
First you wake up from your bed,
Put that wig upon your head,
Stretch that bra across your chest then
Pick a dress! Pick a dress! Pick a dress!
Stuff some socks in your brassiere,
They will never think you’re queer.
Fluid is your gender,
Be a great pretender,
Sometimes bisexual,
Even pansexual,
With the transsexual rag!
By Don Fredrick
2020
The Kamala Rag
First she got down on her knees,
Lowered Willie’s BVDs,
With caresses and a squeeze she said
Hire me please! Hire me please! Hire me please!
She did all that was required,
To ensure sure that she was hired.
Thirty years her elder,
Brown sure did propel her,
Doin’ the Kamala rag!
Working hard she put young blacks in jail
Knowing they could never raise the bail,
Meanwhile she let pedo priests go free,
They were donors, she was their donee.
If you had the right connections,
You could buy the best protections,
Two, four, six, eight,
Watch the law evaporate!
First she got down on her knees,
Lowered Willie’s BVDs,
With caresses and a squeeze she said
Hire me please! Hire me please! Hire me please!
Couldn’t be the nominee
Now she’ll settle for VP,
Overly consumed by
Dreams that Joe will soon die.
Taking advantage,
No matter the damage,
Just doin’ the Kamala rag!
By Don Fredrick
2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujbpfTqlxQ0
With apologies to Mr. Lehrer, I present two new variations:
The Transsexual Rag
First you wake up from your bed,
Put that wig upon your head,
Stretch that bra across your chest then
Pick a dress! Pick a dress! Pick a dress!
Stroll into the women’s locker,
But don’t let them see your c**k or
You will cause real drama,
Everlasting trauma,
With the transsexual rag!
Tell them you’re not homosexual,
Certainly not heterosexual,
You’re just like them, very sensual
Even though you’ve not been menstrual.
If you deceive them, one and all,
Go ahead and pick a stall,
Two, four, six, eight,
Close the door and masturbate.
First you wake up from your bed,
Put that wig upon your head,
Stretch that bra across your chest then
Pick a dress! Pick a dress! Pick a dress!
Stuff some socks in your brassiere,
They will never think you’re queer.
Fluid is your gender,
Be a great pretender,
Sometimes bisexual,
Even pansexual,
With the transsexual rag!
By Don Fredrick
2020
The Kamala Rag
First she got down on her knees,
Lowered Willie’s BVDs,
With caresses and a squeeze she said
Hire me please! Hire me please! Hire me please!
She did all that was required,
To ensure sure that she was hired.
Thirty years her elder,
Brown sure did propel her,
Doin’ the Kamala rag!
Working hard she put young blacks in jail
Knowing they could never raise the bail,
Meanwhile she let pedo priests go free,
They were donors, she was their donee.
If you had the right connections,
You could buy the best protections,
Two, four, six, eight,
Watch the law evaporate!
First she got down on her knees,
Lowered Willie’s BVDs,
With caresses and a squeeze she said
Hire me please! Hire me please! Hire me please!
Couldn’t be the nominee
Now she’ll settle for VP,
Overly consumed by
Dreams that Joe will soon die.
Taking advantage,
No matter the damage,
Just doin’ the Kamala rag!
By Don Fredrick
2020